Dear Hair Gods,
You must be dyslexic.
I am 24 years old.
Not 42 years old.
A gray hair?!
You have a sick sense of humor.
But, then you never were on my side.
As evidenced by my hair's general lack of cooperation.
Spare quantity and generally fine, snarly nature.
Of course, I will continue praying to you in vain...
you know...on the off chance that you feel like smiling on me.
p.s. I pretty much forgive you because Anneliese is a genius. See?!